Misfit Heart
Signs of Life

POTF – Someone Special, one year or so later

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There are songs that need attention more than once, and Someone Special from Poets of the Fall first album Signs of Life is definitely one of them. I am not repeating myself, I’d just like to look at it from another perspective that applies today in a different way than when I first wrote about it a year or so ago (To all my someone special – published on May 7th 2016). I am not interpreting the song… I just use it to tell you about My Someone Special.

Courage

2017 marks my tenth year wedding anniversary (June 16th to be exact) and while I have told you quite a bit about my husband, and how I feel about him… well, let’s just say that Someone Special is clear as a bell when it comes down to it. You see, it does not matter what life throws at us, we don’t duck. I guess you could say that we are a very courageous couple. Depending on where one lives on the planet, courage has different meanings. We don’t live in a war zone, or a natural disasters area, we live in Sweden. I have chosen to move here with him over fourteen years ago, not because I had to, but because he is the one who made my heart go nuts every time he smiled at me… still does, to this day. However, it is not always peachy like many would like to think. We have our drawbacks and yet, our love for one another never wavers. It is the constant of our life that makes the hard times bearable. You might say that it is the same with everybody, and you’d be right, to me though this makes us special in more ways than one.

Hold my head and ease my pain
In a world that’s gone insane…

When life is tough on both of us, that we lose control over situations and people’s judgement, we have this power that lifts us up, this strength that gives us courage. He is always here for me, no matter how tired – or down – he is, and that makes him a hero in my eyes… he’d probably answer to that: “well that’s how it suppose to be, this is what you do when you love someone,” and yet, still a hero to me! I must confess that I am trying to live up to it and step up whenever he needs me, but I have a long way to go yet before I can say with certainty that I provide him with the same kind of support. I am not unwilling, we are just working and dealing with situations differently. Nonetheless, I am always here for him and no matter if I am as good as he is to me, or not. We have courage together and we fight our way towards a brighter path whenever we need to… that makes us very cool indeed!

Down memory lane

I’ll always remember when we first met for real. The first time I saw him in his burgundy blazer when he picked me up at Skavsta Airport (Sweden) on April 16th, 2003. Our eyes met and he gave me such a smile that my heart skipped a beat. I remember I was looking for him, standing in this strange place where people were rushing all around me. I knew he would be there, so yes, I expected to see him… what I did not, was the overwhelming feeling that took hold of my heart then and which has not let go ever since. Right there and then, I knew he was the one and only. Life might be tough and ruthless, but then I remember this and I realise that it can also be tremendously good and generous. So when Marko sings the chorus the way he does and I get these shivers all over my body, of course it has something to do with the warmth of his voice, but he also has everything to do with my Someone Special.

Back row to the left
A little to the side
Slightly out of place
Look beyond the light
Where you’d least expect
There’s someone special

Easy choice

It took about three months for me to decide to move from France to Sweden. I’ve gone a long way since and the main reason for that is because I’ve never took another step on my own. I could not fall anymore, because he always caught me before I’d even stumble. He understands me better than anyone, even myself then… even before we ever met. Talk about insight! I’ve never been afraid to leave and move on… I might have stepped on a few toes now and again, hurt some people’s feeling, but my decisions – although not always fully conscious – have always been to ensure and secure my own happiness. So I moved and it is the best thing I ever did.

I wake up to the sound of rain upon my sill
Pick up the pieces of my yesterday old thrill
Can I deliver this used up shiver
To how I pronounce my life
And leave it up to faith to go by its own will

“I smell a fragrance in the wind blowing my way”

Still in Paris, I’d met that guy and it took me like forever to realise that he was actually hitting on me… talk about clueless! When I finally did, however, I felt this panicky feeling that I was being unfaithful, disloyal to my heart. So, I told this guy something like: “I’m sorry, but I am already with someone.” I had not met my future husband yet, for I believe this occurred in February 2003 and we first met in April. Anyway, he was so mad that almost yelled at me: “Why the fuck are you here with me then?” in the middle of Champs Elysées no less! Very funny now, but quite embarrassing then. I am telling you this because I knew already then that this was it for me. I felt that something big was about to happen… a big life changer… and it did! It is funny how the phrase below sums up perfectly that situation.

Placing my faith in chance to meet me in half way

Funnily enough, I had no idea whatsoever that the Finnish band Poets of the Fall were just starting their brilliant journey at that time as well. Their first album Signs of Life was released in 2005, the same year I published my first poetry book called A New Season. Everything happens for a reason, I believe that. I am sure that we are many who can find correlations between our experiences at a specific time and our favourite Poets’ journey. It is not an important thing, but I find it amusing to go like: “Wow, they went through that too… they are humans after all!” or you know, that kind of silly thoughts that make the days a bit lighter.

So, not only did I chose that song, Someone Special, to talk about the love of my life since it is a perfect fit… but by a happy coincidence, it turned out that my choice had a timeline rather close to my own.

Take care of each other, be kind, love and be happy!


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