Misfit Heart
Twilight Theater

Same but different… POTF – Dying to Live

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I have mentioned this song in my previous post, but it is still nagging at me so I guess I have not yet managed to tell everything that needs telling about “Dying to Live“. Every time I listen to it whether for real or just in my head, I have this statement popping up: “same but different“. I don’t really understand it though, so it might be that I am writing this today to uncover the meaning, or the truth, the song is trying to pull out from my chaotic mind.

Tell me this, would you miss it, trying on another face again to see if it’s you
N’ wondering where you’ve been and where you’re gonna find yourself before the night is through

Behind me now the winding road they sing of
I’ve come to stand before a silent wall

So rid us of the plight, the plight of self affliction
Generations choice the drug of self deception

What is the song about?

Dying to live” is mostly about trying to find and define oneself, in a nutshell. Who better than Marko can talk about that? I guess most of us could but probably not in the same way. Marko does not take gloves to say what’s on his mind. Raise your hand those who have never put a mask on, faking to be someone you were not, either because you did not know who you were, or because you did not want people to know your real face… don’t be shy, raise your hand… I know I did, for both reasons, and I still do sometimes – the latter, not the former.

I believe the song goes further than just that though. Mostly the mask enables one to live a life that is not real, not genuine, but it is easy -er that way. One avoids reality, the hardships, the responsibility of finding the right way for one. Nobody said life would be easy, yet sometimes it’d be cool to have a manual, but being stuck without one, we all have to make do. So, yes, I think “Dying to Live” is this nagging song that reminds you – very loudly in my case, to take care and asks if you are being yourself today because otherwise your life is kind of a sham and you deserve better than that.


Marko uses some strong words: “self affliction“, “self deception” and states that it is a generation thing (if I translate correctly his meaning). Is it though? Well, ok I don’t remember my grandparents feeling sorry for themselves or running away from reality. I mean they lived through World War II after all. My parents then… I don’t know, I never really paid attention, but I don’t think so. Of course, this is a very limited set of references, but it is all that I have and it is a lot believe me. It might be then that Marko’s right, “Generations choice the drug of self deception“, and this is way too easy to do with, for instance, social media, the power of the image and anonymity. So easy to become someone else and disappear behind it… for what purpose? Evade loneliness? Be popular? I ask again, for what purpose?

Then, there is this thing we call “feelings“. They can be overwhelming and difficult to face, so some chose to lock them up, ignore them mostly because it hurts too much, one way or another. As such, we tend to become someone we are not, therefore, remaining “undefined” so that we are always struggling with reality. Either we chose to do something about it or we don’t. If we don’t, we get stuck in this “masquerade for life” and it will be tricky to get out of it, tricky but not impossible.

I know who I am and what makes me tick, but I am still in the in-between. For now, I have chosen to work in a bransh that is not really my thing; it pays the bills though, but the price of such a choice was a burn out. Did I make the right choice deciding to go back? Time will tell. I have not faced that “silent wall” yet, and the answers are not that easy to come by. I am still on this “winding road“, but I am going at a “me pace” and at least I know that this is the right way for me, for now.

Same but different, yet still dying to live

In the end, we all have the same kind of experiences but they are always very different nonetheless. We all have the same need of dealing with life to “make it through the night“, the paths we chose to do that are often very different too. So yes, same but different, which is what makes us, humans, a very interesting and diverse specie. We’re all “Dying to Live” no matter the cost, and what we put ourselves through to get there. We are all “Dying to Live“.

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